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Subscribe to this list via RSS Blog posts tagged in food addiction

Not only have I heard this plea for help by others, it was one I often made myself. Accepting that I had a food addiction did little to help me; it actually made things more confusing. Acceptance was just the beginning of a long, 4-yr struggle to break free.

While I had come to terms with the fact that I had a problem with food, I didn't know how to break the hold it had over me. My "mindfulness" was starting to drive me crazy as I uncovered habit after habit of self-destructive behavior, yet lacked the solution to overcome any of them. One habit that puzzled me to no end was my inability to stop eating.

A specific memory comes to mind that epitomizes my experience with food addiction...

It was a typical work day at the pharmacy I had been working at—typical meaning hectic and full of grumpy customers. Lunch finally rolled around and a co-worker and I escaped the chaos to one of my all-time favorite fast-food joints in Wichita. On the way there, I'm repeating in my head, "I'm not gonna be an oinker, I'm gonna be a good girl and order sensibly." And I did—I ordered a junior cheeseburger meal (a small cheeseburger, small fry, and a small drink).

What I really wanted was the 1/3-pounder with cheese, a large fry, a medium iced-mocha to drink, and then a brownie fudge sundae with extra fudge to top it all off. And I kept thinking about what I had versus what I really wanted. And I couldn't forget about it. Even after finishing the junior meal, acknowledging that I was full, I still felt "not satisfied". That feeling gnawed on me for the rest of my shift.

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